Roofers Mass Hysteria or Mass Mayhem

SALT LAKE CITY, UT—Sheriff Waters claims the “roofers” are a form of “mass hysteria.” We here at the tribune believe something far more sinister in happening.

At first everybody thought that the roofers were the late Dr. Erwin Gottieb’s mechanical alley cats, witnesses claimed to have seen a small creature scuttle up a steam pipe onto the roof tops while a dead man found below. It wasn’t until another witness saw the strange beasts. She claims they have a human head, two long arms that looked sewn on. Others have also spotted the roofers as “a head with two feet, a head with a leg and an arm” and do forth.

Since the two murders, no more deaths have been attributed to the roofers.

Lenore’s House of Fine Art is Hardly Fine

SALT LAKE CITY, UT—I realize that out west, culture is a drinking contest with cheap wine rather than whiskey, but Lenore should rename her “art” show to Lenore’s House of Finger Art. The most horrible painting hanging there. Most created by the lost souls of the Junkyard that I wish they would have lost their “art” with their souls.

Perhaps the worst excrement is the “work” of Adelade Picket. His pipelines, and steam, and steel filled with weird shapes, is hardly art. I suggest that Mr. Picket should perhaps bash himself over the head with a pipe and use the end to remove his eyes.

Roofers Mass Hysteria or Mass Mayhem

Deadlands Reloaded: The Weird West Stone_Cold_Monkey