Log Note: I going in a different direction for this game session log. I’m going to write them as newspaper articles instead. While the meat of adventure is still there, much of the information loss or wrong from what happened in actual play.
Russ Brown—Backwoods Mad Scientist
Max “Doc” Cunningham—Blessed Sawbones
Mr. Cotchry—Ex-Lawman turn Avenger
Excerpt from the Rocky Mountain News
Dime Novel Gunfight on the Streets of Denver!
by Joseph Ashley Hogan
DENVER, CO—Yesterday evening was the scene of a dramatic gunfight ripped straight from the pages of some Dime Novel or Penny Dreadful. Outside of Buck Wild’s saloon two men, one Russ Brown from the Appalachian mountains and Willie “Scorpion” Phillips from the Oklahoma Panhandle dueled it out on the cobblestone streets of Denver just before sunset. Witness reports claim that Mr. Brown walked into Buck Wild’s Saloon only to be veritably abused by Scorpion Phillips particularly about Mr. Brown’s ugly appearance and obscenity. The two men agreed to the duel and stepped out into the street.
After a quick exchange of insult and steely stares, Scorpion Phillips drew his .44 Army Revolver first narrowly missing Mr. Brown. Emily Witness was quoted as saying, “The bullets musta been afeared off my his [Mr. Brown]cow pie he calls a pus, because there ain’t no way they could miss. He was so fat you’d have to throw a diamond hitch to keep him in the saddle.”
Mr. Brown returned fire but also missed. It wasn’t until a mysterious stranger took it upon himself to intervene and shot Scorpion dead. Little is known about this third gunslinger other than he wore a shabby poncho and had nasty scars, “like a train ran over his face.”
Some reports indicate that the stranger and Mr. Brown knew each other. This reporter is saying that Mr. Brown and the stranger set up Scorpion Phillips to be murdered. But after a little research, it was discovered that Scorpion may have been hired as part of a saboteur team by one of the Railroads who wanted to tie up some loose ends.
This article was written less than a week later but was rejected the Tombstone Epitaph.
Denver Hospital Murder Coverup
by Annabel Hardin
DENVER, CO—Recently, there was a panic at the Exempla Saint Joseph Hospital here in Denver. According to the finest work that trained monkey’s can accomplish at the Denver Police Department, a posse of men broke into the hospital for emergency health care. The official story is a gang of bandits broke forced their way into the hospital with their injured/sick buddy in tow. They forced one of the surgeons there, a Doctor Edmund Grape, to operate on the hurt desperado. Unhappy with the procedure, the gang became angry shot of the operating room and strangled Dr. Grape. Though this story conflicts with the offical autopsy that yours truly managed to secure. Little is known about the gang other than they are lead by a dwarf.
However, this reporter has dug deeper than other newspapers in Denver who simply publish the reports given to them by city officials. What was uncovered was, one of the men in the gang had a parasite similar to the Texas Tummy Twisters* reported in previous editions of the Tombstone Epitaph. This reporter believes that the gang brought their sick man to see Dr. Grape to have the parasite removed through a brand new procedure involving cutting open the man and removing the parasite directly.
Something must have gone wrong. Perhaps the parasite knew something was wrong and killed Dr. Grape and then attacked the posse. It could have infected one of the other members having a new host. That would explain why no creature was found with Dr. Grape. Only strange chitinous barbs were discovered up his right are and on his neck. Another, theory is maybe the Denver Police took the creature’s body away to cover up the weird ordeal. Whatever the truth is, this story is yet another example the ineptitude of city officials and failure of local journalistic publications.
*Texas Tummy Twisters are reported to live in bad water holes in Texas and once inside a host grow to the size of house cats as quick as a week. The parasite has been described as a mass of barbed tentacles.
Note from John Clum, Editor-in-Chief of the Tombstone Epitaph:
We here at the Tombstone Epitaph must regret that we cannot publish your story as is. While many people’s consider us little more than a tabloid thanks in no small part from the reports of Lacy O’Malley, we do not print every article from every crank that mails to us.
Your article is far too full of bile focused toward the Denver Police and Denver Newspapers to be useful. Perhaps with a re-write that is more objective and has a more complete account of what happened could we here at the Epitaph consider running this.
John Clum, Editor-In-Chief